Time is of the Essence

I really can't believe how fast time is flying by this semester. I feel like I JUST moved in my dorm, JUST started training for campus concierge, and I really feel like freshman move in weekend was just yesterday! I can remember every detail about that day (down to what I ate for lunch and dinner). In reality it was almost 3 months ago though. I just can't believe how fast time has gone. I kind of regret not doing more this semester knowing it is my last one here. I wish I had gone out more, I wish I had done more "fun" things rather than working and just going to class and studying. I know in the long run it will benefit me more than if I'd just "had fun" the whole time. I just don't wanna look back one day and think "what if?" about certain things.

This past weekend was Halloween weekend. Everyone on campus basically goes CRAZY! Its kind of scary in a way how much people get into Halloween. I mean it is JUST a holiday that is mainly for kids to just dress up and get candy from their neighbors. I really think people get wayyy to into it. Most people have like three or four different costumes for each night of the weekend. I mean, seriously that is just alil ridiculous if you ask me. I didn't do anything this year because Matt had been sick for 5 days already and finally Friday he went to the Doctor and they didn't know what he had but gave him antibiotics. We (me and his mom lol) decided that he should rest all weekend. We were suppose to go to his house to hear Ric's band play on Sunday night. It was a dress up party type thing...but me and his mom decided he should rest and not drive home. So, we stayed here. We watched movies, hung out, just took it easy. It was actually really nice to not do anything for once. I LOVE being on-the-go and doing things all the time...but this weekend I was actually content doing nothing. Weird.

Sunday night was a minor breakdown for me. Stuff had just been building up and building up. Everything about graduation was just hitting me like a ton of bricks. I had talked to my dad on the phone that night and I know he is trying to help me, which I greatly appreciate, but I just don't want to think about some things SO much. So, I just got all worked up on the phone thinking about my future and just the anxiety of not knowing what was coming in a short amount of time really scares me. BIG TIME! I HATE not knowing things. So much that I beg Matt at the beginning of each fricking day what we are doing that day and night. I just like to know what I'm going to be doing! Also things with my sister were making me feel idk (I really can't put a word to how I feel with her). It just wasn't a settling feeling. I just feel like she isn't making some of the smartest decisions right now, but I know she has to live and learn for herself. She will figure it out. She is a smart and intelligent young women...I just wish sometimes I could slap her across the face and wake her up! She has to figure life out on her own though because she won't listen to anyone about anything. She's a stubborn lil thing. I just wish time would stop for a second so I could figure everything out, get everything in its appropriate place, and just get things back in order, then we can continue with life!